Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tis the Season...?

Do you remember when we were kids, and studied the FOUR seasons (and no, I don't mean Frankie Valli)? Winter, spring, summer, fall...rinse, and repeat.

I'm not sure when that changed. I went to college in central Illinois, two hours from my home in the 'burbs. I remember clearly that we DID still have seasons then, at home and at school. So, it had to be after that.

I stayed on as a townie for an unexpectedly delayed layover after graduation (four years, instead of the planned 6 months). Then it was back to Chi-town-land, and briefly back to central Illinois. During all that time I still recall having actual, definable SEASONS.

Thus, I'm going to blame Indiana.

I lived there for about four years, and when I returned to Chicagoland, suddenly there were no longer four seasons.

*I* think it's because Indiana could never figure out what FLIPPING *TIME* it was, and that threw off the rotation of the earth or something. Look it up, I'm serious.

*Now, IN has adopted daylight savings time, and stays constantly within the eastern time zone... but when I lived there they opted out of DST. I was at the border of IN and MI, and seriously, you could never be certain what the hell time it actually was. Even within the same Hoosier town, one business could follow IL in central DST, but across the street was an hour different for completely random reasons. The whole state was an unorganized, time-clashing mess for six out of every twelve months. It completely irritated me --every. Flipping. DAY.

So, thanks to Indiana, Chicagoland now has basically two seasons:

Winter, and Yay-It's-Warm-So-Now- We're-Crazy-Busy (also called Non-Winter).

Winter means it's *FREAKING COLD*. C-O-L-D, cold.

...And/or snowing, sleeting, raining, gusting winds from the Arctic, all of the above, in many different combinations and likely to change from minute to minute.

However, it is a universal law that the absolute WORST of the wind/snow/sleet/icy daggers from above will flare up exactly 42 seconds before you leave your current location, so as to inflict maximum damage upon your outfit and/or hair, and leave you with the maximum lingering mess to deal with for the rest of the day.

Welcome to the midwest.

So now that it finally stopped snowing--maybe, I dunno, 3 weeks ago?-- it seems we're on to season #2.

Because it was 97 degrees yesterday. 99+ the day before that, depending on your location.

Courtesy of the 20+ degree drop today, there were storms overnight that literally shook me awake. I thought we were having an earthquake until I saw the rave party of lightning a few seconds later.

But yeah, we're busy. It's GO time, folks!!

Pools, splash pads, and water parks are now open...for the only two months you get to use them in Chicagoland.

Everyone and their DOG is having a BBQ, birthday party, graduation party, outdoor wedding, christening, celebration of cat adoption, or some-such-thing.

--Oh, and all those events? Most certainly will be on the SAME DAY. (Because there are only about 8 weekends of Non-Winter, so your options are limited.)

The Season-Formerly-Known-As-Summer also means it is INSANITY time at work. Higher education administrators <waving HI!> spend virtually all of Non-Winter gearing up for the start of the school year...

Which means that of those 8 glorious Non-Winter weekends, I will be WORKING at least three Saturdays.

I wasn't a math major, but I do believe that's a high percentage of prime Non-Winter time. Grumble.

On the up side:

Non-Winter means splashing around in the baby pool, chasing fireflies, letting Monkey make a colossal mess with the sandbox toys, and watching her flop down on her pillow, snoring before you even let go, ripe with the sour-sweet elixir of kid sweat, sunscreen, and watermelon juice.

On the down side:

There are mosquitoes here bigger than my fist. And they *ALL* know where I live.

Happy Non-Winter.

Grab a Popsicle before it melts and refreezes instantly when winter returns. In like, a week. ;)

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