Sunday, December 1, 2013

Technical Difficulties, II

I finally got things working a bit, so I  hope to get things posted. Some may come out horribly out of order because it seems posts I thought were out are actually still drafts.

My work computer (which I used to use to post, on my lunch break) is still only running IE 8 and apparently that is no bueno for Blogger. Thus, it seems a lot of things are still in draft form. I am not digging that.

So I will be trying to get things updated from the home PC and clear out all these drafted-y-drafts soon.

Hope all is well.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Entertainment from the Car Seat

So it's been a while again, blah blah blah. Sorry. This had to be preserved because I am laughing so hard (internally! trying not to leak the guffaws) that I had to get it written...

This is what happened on our drive home tonight. Enjoy!

Monkey (seeing lights in the sky): Star bright, star BRIGHT, first star I see tonight. I wish I may I wish I MIGHT have this wish I wish TONIGHT!

...I wish I was in China right now.

(Mom stifles a giggle.)

Monkey: Mom, guess what? I just wished I was in China right now!
Me: Yes, baby, I heard that.
Monkey: But, I better not let Evie (her preschool friend) hear that.

Me: Uh...why?
Monkey: She doesn't like China.

(We travel a little further...)

Monkey: Know what, Mom? I REALLY think that if you wish on a star, it should like, follow you. It's YOUR star, cuz it's YOUR wish.

(a few beats pass)

Monkey: Hey!!! That star must have heard me-- it IS following us!
Me: Where?
Monkey: RIGHT THERE -- see! It followed us!

Me: That's because... that's an airplane.

Monkey (very studiously): No. It. Is. Not. ...Ok, the thing in FRONT of it? *That's* an airplane. And maybe the thing behind it. Airplane. But *I* am talking the thing in between. That's my star.

Me: Uh... still an airplane.

(We travel a little further...)

Monkey: Guess what, Mom? When I was with Elly (her other BFF) I *SECRETLY* watched Pocahontas I. Like, ALL OF IT. Because Elly wanted to watch Pocahontas II and I said we could NOT do that because even if she has seen Pocahontas I, I didn't yet. So we did and now I know Pocahontas.

(a very short beat passes)

Monkey: Do YOU know any Indian people?

Me: Uh... no?

Monkey: Because *I* do. I know Pocahontas. Even though that movie is kind of silly, because she has a Gramma Tree. Like, her Gramma. Is. A. Tree. And, I don't get it. Like, where's her grandpa? If you have a gramma, you gotta have a grandpa too. Somewhere. Is he a tree, too?

(I just held my breath in the sheer fantasticness of it all.)

Monkey: You know, mom, sometimes I talk so fast, even *I* don't know what I just said. Ifyouhaveagrammayougottahaveagrandpatoo. Didja get that? Cuz, I didn't.

We pulled into the driveway, and she asked if Daddy was home yet. I explained he had stopped off at church to pick up the pies we ordered. 

Monkey: Oh, my nuts! He's not home yet?

Me: ...What...What did you say?!

Monkey: He's not home yet?

Me: No, BEFORE that. What did you say??

Monkey: gosh...?

Me: That is definitely *NOT* what you said.

Monkey: Well then, I don't know. I don't even know what I just said... Is he really not home yet?

Me: No. Not yet.

Monkey: Oh, my nuts!

I... I just. I've got nothin'. Don't even know where to start...??? 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Technical Difficulties

I was trying to post from a couple of saved drafts, but having technical difficulties. I hope to have new posts soon.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Quote Updates

Hi there...once again, got caught up in the general randomness of life and have been away for a while. Since the fun times with Monkey don't stop for such trivialities, here are some of the best stories to catch us up to present day...

Monkey is now riding a bike with training wheels. It had been her sister's, but thanks to massive growth spurts it looked like one of those clown mini-bikes when Sis rode it. She now has a dirt bike version and Monkey has the Barbie Pink Explosion Super Wonder-bike. With streamer handles.

We discovered her helmet from last year now resembles a batting helmet beanie on Monkey's giant head, so we had to get a new one. I found some really cute ones online...which do not come in Big Giant Head sizes. So she now has a fairly nondescript purple one, that looks more mature than her 4.5 years of age, but at least it will protect the giant noggin.

It has come in VERY handy. This should not be a surprise.


Story 1:

Monkey had been riding her bike up and down the sidewalk on our block, very proud that she can now start pedaling from a dead stop. She got tired of riding and decided to play Frisbee instead. I was sitting on the front porch watching her throw the Frisbee to, uh, no one. (That seems to be her preferred method of play.)

I asked her if she maybe wanted to take off the helmet since now she was off the bike.

Her response: "No...what if I am diving for the Frisbee and bonk my head?"
Mom: "You are throwing it to yourself...and the ground..."

Monkey (nodding sagely): "Exactly."

Approximately 12 seconds later she somehow managed to thump her head on the side OF THE HOUSE.

Monkey (patting her hand on the helmet): "See...HELMET!"

I laughed, but the joke was on ME. 

Another 12 seconds later, she whacked me in the eye with the Frisbee. I am considering getting my own helmet. I do not even have a bike. 


Story 2: 

Monkey got a jump rope as a party favor from one of the 50 zillion birthday parties this spring. Not even kidding. We had to shorten the knots on it a little to make it better sized for her.

So she's in the back yard-- thankfully, in the grass-- attempting to jump the rope. It is not going well.

I got the brilliant idea to show her. Not sure how that came about because I truly cannot remember when I last jumped rope...possibly the fifth grade? So anyway, let's say I am a little rusty.

I was trying to show her to hold off jumping until the rope comes around by her feet. She had been whirling her arms wildly and jumping at the same time, squinting her eyes closed. Clearly, NOT WORKING.

So I showed her and sat back to watch.
I wish I had the video camera going.

She sets her concentrated face, whirls the rope over her head, and jumps...

And somehow landed ON. HER. FACE.

I don't even know how. She was just suddenly on her face, feet all weird up in the air behind her.

Once I determined she was OK, I of course, was ROLLING laughing.

Monkey got up, rubbed her forehead, and headed for the open garage.

Me: "Honey? What are you doing?"
Monkey: "I think I need my helmet to do this."

I just nodded and let her go get it. 

Story 3: 

Monkey's very beloved preschool teacher got married over Memorial Day weekend. It's been very exciting, but sad because it means she's gone from the classroom for a while. We found out that the newlyweds are headed to Thailand for their honeymoon.

As we were setting the dinner table, Monkey started talking about it...

Monkey: "You know, *I* would like to go to Thailand."
Me: "Really? How come?"
Monkey: "I think it would be fun."
Me: "Yeah, I guess. A very different place to go."

Monkey: "Yeah...What kind of rides do they have there?"

Me: "What kind of...what???"

Monkey: "RIDES. You know. Is it like Disneyland, or Safari Land...???"

Me: (dying laughing) "Um, it's not like those places. It's an actual country."

Monkey: "A WHOLE COUNTRY OF RIDES?!! I am so going there!!"

Me: "No, honey. No rides."

Monkey: "Oh. Well then, FORGET it."

Story 4:

While taking her shower, Monkey gleefully informed me of THIS little gem:

"Hey, Mommy, guess WHAT? I followed around to where the poop comes out! And, and, know what I found?? THERE'S a HOLE there!!!!"

Me: "Um, yes, there is."

Monkey: "But I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be I put my finger in it!"

Me: "Uh.... let's scrub your hands..."


Story 5: 

Monk's been on a Strawberry Shortcake kick lately (the books and DVD's...although she'd gladly gorge on the actual food too, given the chance). She and Monkey Doodle Daddy got into a very deep discussion about the changes between some of the series of books and some of the DVD's.

Apparently, there have been different permutations of characters, depending on when the book/DVD came out. Some of the characters look different too. Honestly, I had never given the concept that much thought, but I guess they're right. Anyway...

The morning after this discussion, we continued the topic in the car on the way to school. Monkey was catching me up on who's not in which book, or whose outfits are different, etc.

There was a brief pause, and then she dropped this one on me:

"You know, if *I* lived in Strawberry Shortcake land...I would TOTALLY eat Angel Cake's house."

Word. Me, too.


More to come.