Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Reclamation Time

Hi again... it's been a while. It's funny how priorities can shift in the tiniest increments, and as time passes you find you are somehow miles away from where you thought you would be.

My life has undergone a sort of continental drift over the past few months. There has been s much to write about and yet so little time to do so, and that inching away built into being so backed up that it felt like I had too much ground to cover to come back to this blog.

Then I read through old posts and realized just how many times I have done this. Surely it couldn't have been THAT LONG since I last posted, right?

I am reclaiming my time. My direction. My me-ness. 

My family had gotten into a rut of being always GO GO GO and DO ALL THE THINGS and the weekends are too short and morning comes so soon and suddenly all this time has gone by and I am looking around like a confused dog with one ear perked up, wondering just **what the fresh hell** is actually happening.

A lot, actually.

So, here's the summary:

I finally changed jobs in October. Quitting a job where I had been mistreated and underpaid for years was one of the best bursts of fresh air into my world. I am in a new tangent of my prior career path, closer to home, making more money, and working for the bizzarro world version of my prior boss. This boss cares about me, seeks my opinion, and values my input. Didn't know those mythical creatures even existed. It's like working for a unicorn.

The monkey has grown-- oh, so very much. Just this Sunday she lost baby tooth #6, and is sporting the most amazing gap-toothed smile. She reads ALL THE TIME and is in the second Harry Potter book.

She is still doing karate- started as kind of a whim on a freebie thing last April/May. It turns out she has some affinity for it. She's been progressing steadily-- moved up four belt levels in a year, and was accepted into the invitation-only class in November.

In that class, she is learning sparring techniques...and weapons.


She has a (non-sharp) sword, nunchucks*, kamas, and a bo staff.

She's a veritable one-kid TNMT. Maybe "Preteen Mutant Ninja Monkey" would warrant its own development plan, no?

*For the nunchucks, I should add she is mainly using a foam version right now, as she is not yet six months post-concussion. While training with the real, metal version, I made her wear a helmet in class. Within the first five minutes, she clocked herself RIGHT in the head, RIGHT at the spot where she was concussed. -- And THAT, my friends, is why she wore the helmet. But the helmet was too hot to keep on for the whole class, so we got a safety, foam version that will not cause her permanent brain damage when/if it makes contact with her cranium. Blue Cross sent us a thank-you letter. (Not really, but they should have IMHO.)

This whole year has been full of "firsts" without my dad. It's been something I haven't felt comfortable writing about, so I just didn't. There was simultaneously too much to say and nothing at all I wanted to share.

But this blog is for my girl. SOoooo...I wanted to get back to it.

One of the lessons I am having thrust upon me repeatedly lately is the concept of choosing one's own focus. I tend to get all Rain Man-ish about dates and significance of things that have impacted me negatively. Getting to know a few folks at my new job has brought the insight of new perspectives. I firmly believe these people have been brought to my life for a reason, and I am choosing to open my eyes to the lessons they bring.

One coworker lost her mother, right around the same time I lost my dad. She and I have had some conversations that have me truly just...nodding, and saying, "OK, God, I get it. I hear you."

What a blessing it is to have that opportunity to be both a mirror, and a magnifying glass, for someone else on a similar path to your own journey! It is exciting and such a reminder that there are forces at work in the universe that can guide us. We just have to listen.

I am now listening-- to the universe and its various taps on the shoulder, to the unique wisdom that comes from the coolest little ninja monkey you ever did meet, and to my own voice from that "deep down somewhere" that tells me that it's time to write again.

Long past time, in fact.

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